3/14/2007
What is a librarian?
I nominate this as the new definition:
Librarians hoard the wisdom of humanity. They are the keepers of all knowledge, the guardians at the temples of understanding, and devoted protectors of the sanctuary in the midst of uneducated anarchy. Plus, they are often aware of very cheap places to dine alone with books. A group of librarians is also known as a shoosh.
Also:
Librarians can often be seen reading for recreation. Some enjoy sniffing book spines to ascertain the age of books in a competition known as “Guess how old this is.” Master librarians can even smell a book’s ISBN. (This skill prevents librarians from enjoying the delicate art of kitten huffing.) They also frequently knit, play scrabble, and do crossword puzzles when they’re not out rampaging with their motorcycle gangs and getting awesome tattoos.
And finally:
TIP! Vanquishing Librarians is most effective in non-book environments.
Repeat the following incantation three times “Your field is obsolete and you will be replaced with improved content and slicker GUI interfacia from Google.” This should be sufficient to destroy the non-technical librarian.
A geekier librarian may be resistant to this incantation and should simply be bludgeoned with the first volume of the OED or a similarly large reference book.
This morning’s craziness is brought to by the Uncyclopedia.
Filed under: Librarianship, Whimsy
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